# Depression help



## alexjb (Feb 13, 2011)

Hi guys, not sure if this is the right place to post but here goes...

I've recently been diagnosed with depression and I know it doesn't sound like much but I am really struggling. I don't know what to do with myself, not motivated for anything, crying all the time. I've pretty much stopped going to college, now not got much chance of going to uni, don't want to clean the car, put on nearly 2 stone. 

I really don't know what to do. I've been to the doctors and he has given me some pills but then my parents don't think it's a good idea that I take them because I might not ever come off them.

I sort of know what the problem is, basically there is a girl who I am madly in love with blah blah blah. She was the first girl I fell in love with, Loved her for 6 and a bit years now. Finally get the chance to be with her and then after about 2 months she is saying things like 'I don't know where I stand' and stuff like that. We have always been friends but now she isn't really speaking to me and has broken my heart to be quite honest. 

There are some other things as well but I feel this is the main contributor. 

Would really appreciate some help please guys, thanks.


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## The Cueball (Feb 8, 2007)

you will realise that there is far more to live than women...

usually more hassle than they are worth.

stop thinking about her... yes, you control your brain and thoughts, not the other way around...

you want to be sad, think sad thoughts, if you really want to be happy, concentrate on happy things...

get off the drugs, medication is a bad route IMO, and doctors just throw people down this for minimum fuss...

eat well, get outside, and exercise.... keep healthy...

your thoughts become your actions, so control your thoughts...

:thumb:


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## R7KY D (Feb 16, 2010)

I think we've all been there , done that , and got the t-shirt but most of us are probably twice your age 

My advice - Move on , You can't make someone love you back so don't give it energy 

I'm guessing your young , So get out there and enjoy your life


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## Bod42 (Jun 4, 2009)

More to life than women, I know its hard but find something to occupy your mind. Spend time with funny mates I alway finds helps.

I would stay away from the depression pills as much as possible, there an easy way out but cause more problems than they are worth. Had a very close mate in exactly the same position.

Also sing hakuna matata Lion King Song multiple times throughout the day :thumb:


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## shonajoy (Jan 27, 2009)

I think you have great insight, very often people don't realise they're depressed until they are out of the other side. My advice - make yourself do one thing you don't want to do, every day. Fake it till you make it. The more you achieve the more you will do, and it's self fulfilling in that you'll be motivated to do better. Take up invitations, eat well, get a bit of exercise, and see if you start feeling better. If you don't, then you maybe do need some medication short term but you can also ask your gp for a counselling referral which may be better.
I've had a dreadful couple of years culminating in major surgery and then got depressed, gained over two stone, was sleeping all the time, zero motivation. I've since lost over a stone, and am determined to be slimmer and feeling better for summer. You have to start somewhere, and I bet once you start making changes you will feel so much more optimistic.


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## fulcrumer (Feb 25, 2012)

R7KY D said:


> I think we've all been there , done that , and got the t-shirt but most of us are probably twice your age
> 
> My advice - Move on , You can't make someone love you back so don't give it energy
> 
> I'm guessing your young , So get out there and enjoy your life


Good advice!


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## saint1d (Jul 18, 2010)

Its all very easy to say that time is a healer, but it is. Whenever you split with someone its crap, and people always say it will get better, but unfotunately it doesnt help you. You will look back one day and agree that it just needed time. When I look back on past relationships that went wrong I can now laugh at how they affected me, its crazy mate, but we've all been there at some point.

Try and find yourself a new hobby, I dunno, radio controlled cars, karting, paintball. Something you can get stuck into and take your mind off things.

The harsh reality is that there are always people worse off than you, you are lucky with the life you have, snap out of it!! Ok easier said than done but you need to take control and tell yourself so. You could meet a girl tomorrow and everything will change in an instant.

As mentioned you have at least recognised you have a problem, well done, now get out there, try lose some weight, and knock 'em dead.


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## PWOOD (Apr 30, 2007)

Exercise is well worth the effort :thumb:


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## Subc (May 30, 2008)

Hi alexjb
just came across your post sorry to hear you are feeling down at the moment,its a B, I know I have been their and still struggle sometimes.
You have seen your GP and he would hopefully done a full assessment of you and if so diagnosed you as Depressed. If you imagine your brain as a car battery and when things are going "normally" your battery charge is in the high 90s% (Motivation,happy etc) but when the battery gets drained its harder to get going or basically start up and sometimes feels easier to do nothing as you feel drained.
The answer is a dificult one but it sounds like you have close family around you and it is always good to talk about it, as the last thing you want to do is bottle up your feelings as they drag you down.
Medication can help as it relieves some of the pressure and gives you a chance to recover if you are having real concerns about taking the tablets and feel you dont need them or need assurances about them make an appointment to see another Dr and explain how you feel and ask if their is another form of treatment if you dont want to take them.
Time is a great healer they say which is true as I have had a few broken hearts in the past but the problem the "time" is now and how you feel at the moment, I see some of the women I was with and think Fk me that was a lucky escape.
So basically:
Try and talk to someone you trust.
Go back to the Drs and tell them you are unsure about taking medication.
Try and be positive its bloody hard but looking back myself that is very important.
Dont bottle things up and speak to people.
If you are scared and despair get help at once GP anybody.
Alcohol is to be avoided at all costs as believe me it is a disaster taking it when feeling down.
As previous post exercise is a great help a little even washing the car to get out.
And people do care we all replied to your post and wish you well and hope you get a smile back on your face and a shine on your motor.
Take Care.
Mark


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## Will_G (Jan 23, 2012)

This helped me and my ex-gf when she had depression

http://www.dorothyrowe.com.au/books/item/282-depression-the-way-out-of-your-prison-3rd-ed-2003


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## PaulN (Jan 17, 2008)

The most important thing is keep life as normal as possible, dig in and carry on with your college work, you can honestly power through this and as p*ss poor as it sounds laugh at it in a few months. 

Don't throw away your future over some bird, don't throw away yesterday's takeaway over some bird. 

God that sounded bitter!!! Lol

PaulN


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## Ross (Apr 25, 2007)

Women are a fecking nightmare.


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## Juzza (May 9, 2011)

Ross said:


> Women are a fecking nightmare.


Something I have unfortunatly discovered in the last few weeks! That said, I keep telling myself that there must be some decent women out there!


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## alexjb (Feb 13, 2011)

Cheers for all the support guys, much appreciated! I guess only time will tell. 
Thanks once again.


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## Trip tdi (Sep 3, 2008)

Interesting thread here, lots of people are helping for the good.


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## Culainn (Sep 2, 2009)

Great to see such really good advice on here. 

Just on the medication part, while i respect others views on here and believe they make valid points, sometimes I think depression medication does have its place. Speaking from experience, the best thing is indeed exercise, getting out and eating well but sometimes in order to be in a place where you can do those things, medication is needed to give you that little lift in the first place.


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## DaveDesign (May 6, 2008)

Half the problem is sounds like your stuck in a `do nothing` rutt.

Tomorrow morning get up 8am, get dressed, get ready, spend as little time as possible getting outside. Then do something thats gunna give you results. tidy the garage, sort your detailing gear, sort the garden, paint the fence, Whatever!! Rain?? and what? not really going to stop you doing too much, get your coat lad!
The instant results from your labour will give you a good kick up the ass well done along with distracting your mind from the lady in question.

After that and the sense of good doing and well being don't stop, up outa bed, breakfast, then something constructive the next day, No matter what it is aslong as you see some results from your labour.

Don't leave too much time between getting up and doing something. The longer you leave it the less you will be arsed to and to be gonest you wont!

thats just my five pence worth from experience!

Dave.


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## Avanti (Jan 17, 2006)

alexjb said:


> Hi guys, not sure if this is the right place to post but here goes...
> 
> I've recently been diagnosed with depression and I know it doesn't sound like much but I am really struggling. I don't know what to do with myself, not motivated for anything, crying all the time. I've pretty much stopped going to college, now not got much chance of going to uni, don't want to clean the car, put on nearly 2 stone.
> 
> ...


As others have echoed , it takes time, 2 months though is short, and I suspect you are young, so there is plenty of time ahead and along with that comes opportunity, like others mention, you will look back and laugh at yourself.
Good luck


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## peekaboo (May 18, 2007)

Some good advice here chaps, but there is a difference between depression & a broken heart, splitting up with somebody if its not what you wanted is painful and rejection is more painful than anything else, most of us have been there and more than once, you cant snap out of it, it takes time I know, has for the pills I would try and avoid them if possible, my life fell apart when I was 29 but had started with depression for no reason when I was 21, I`m 46 now & I started medication for depression 18 years ago, I still take it now, and most people who take it will tell you its a nightmare to get off, but has people say you need to try and get back into a routine its hard but only you can do it, go out with friends exercise is fantastic, good luck mate


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## Carick (Apr 2, 2012)

Hi Alex,
Some effective tips reduce depression are:
Take deep breath and do practice yoga. Share your problems with your friends and family. Increase water intake and eat balanced diet plan. Avoid alcohol, caffeine and other stimulants.
Boot Camp San Antonio


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## Leemack (Mar 6, 2009)

As above really

I lost my dad too young, then split up with my mrs and didn't see my son for over 6 months then quit my career all in the space of 3 months.

I was pretty much as low as i think a person could go, short of living on the streets pumping veins full of substances.
I went to the doc, got some super strength pills. Didn't like it so picked myself up and decided to not dwell on it all and get some work done.

There is a light at the end of that seemingly very long dark tunnel matey - Trust me. I know as i found it


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