# That's it, bad adverts...



## Multipla Mick (Feb 5, 2006)

Time to let loose the spam cannon and have a bloody good rant 

It's not actually an ad that has set me off either, just the continuity announcer on ITV just now saying Sunderland _vee_ Middlesborough. It's not just him though, the BBC were at it during the Rugby worldnationsleagueunioncup thing. Try saying, _versus_ you muppet, which V is short for to make it easier in printed stuff like fixture lists, not when speaking. Or howabout against, or take on, or meet? Anything but flipping Vee FFS!  It may not be wrong technically, but it sounds absolutely pants and primary schoolish. grrrrrr....

And that bloody stupid bint on the Harvey's furniture ad thingies surrounding Coronation St. The silly moo who can't get her peas in her gob, the 'trooper' lying to her husband about the housework she isn't doing. Just buggarroff and leave me to enjoy Correy in peace without wanting to throw my dinner at the telly. I know it's wrong to hit women, but with her I think an exception could be, and should be, made. I dream of walking up to her carrying a suitable length of scaffolding plank, then taking a large swing and knocking her clean off her feet with one almighty wallop to her mush. Then I'd just toss the plank aside and leave without saying a word. Or maybe just empty an Uzi into her smug, lazy, lounging on the settee, body. Useless and extremely annoying bint she is, needs culling, now.

Women going into the toilet to try out wet wipes for your ar5e... WTF is that all about? Who wants to see some bint coming out of the bog having presunmbly just done a big dump while the other women, the celeb totty and the camera crew, all wait outside with baited breath? Not me that's for sure, go wipe your bum or your panty hamster somewhere else, in private please.

Fecking Figo and the appallingly dubbed hair dye ad. Fugggnnnrusssnforeigndubbedcrap  Just feck off with your stupid advert, right now! 

Bespectacled intelligent looking totty in that toothbrush or toothpaste infomercial/ad thing. The one that is made like a documentary and sees the serious looking totty 'interviewing' that huge ugly bloke who pronounces every word like a drum beating slowly. Then she interviews some other managerial type geezer and he too is a bit odd to say the least. What is going on? Are we supposed to believe the toothpaste or brush or whatever it was is the best yet, but they employ weirdos and 8 foot imbeciles? Maybe they are just there to make speccy bint look even more alluring, I don't know, but as is usual it all looks high tech in their labs, very CSI like, and therefore bullcrap.

Finally, The Bodyguard or whatever it's called on BBC. Not an ad granted, but I'm not starting another thread, but I just want to say what the hell are they, and David Jason thinking? Sort of Frank Spencer meets Inspector Clouseau meets Frank Drebben, only where they were great, this is just crap. Very disappointing to say the least.

Right, I'm done, but some things need saying or they fester and bubble away below the surface while I imagine ever more inventive ways of despatching the people and companies involved in these things, and stress levels reach 'must murder them, now' levels.

So, what have I missed then? What ads grind your knackers? Let's have them!


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## Darlofan (Nov 24, 2010)

Aaannnnd Breathe!!!

Have to agree about the corrie ads, get fed up of them. When possible i try to pause live tv before I sit to watch a programme then flick through crap at x32(amazing how quick you can watch a programme that way).

Football on ITV annoys me watching FA Cup earlier and ads come on about 4minutes into it.

The big thing that gets me is before ads you get the "coming up after the break" then after the break you get "coming up on...." so bloody annoying they show you half the bloody stuff during that. programmes would be half as long if they stopped all that guff.

Toothpaste ad with the "scanner"that detects plaque gets me, especially as the small print says it's not a scanner just for illustrative purposes.


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## gm8 (Apr 25, 2011)

go compare.....................


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## Deano (Jul 7, 2006)

the ads for new films get my blood boiling.

" in cinemas feb 3"

no, it's out FEBRUARY THE THIRD, NOT FEBRUARY THREE!! ARGHHHH! :lol:


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## Deano (Jul 7, 2006)

oh and the toothpaste ads with the totally biased dental experts that say eating anything other than fresh air and watercress will make your teeth fall out unless you use this 19 quid a tube mix of polyfilla and foxs glacier mints.


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## Multipla Mick (Feb 5, 2006)

Deano said:


> the ads for new films get my blood boiling.
> 
> " in cinemas feb 3"
> 
> no, it's out FEBRUARY THE THIRD, NOT FEBRUARY THREE!! ARGHHHH! :lol:


I forgot that  I honestly shouted 'Third you f*ckwit' at the telly when that came on the other night  :lol:



Deano said:


> oh and the toothpaste ads with the totally biased dental experts that say eating anything other than fresh air and watercress will make your teeth fall out unless you use this 19 quid a tube mix of polyfilla and foxs glacier mints.


:lol: Spot on! :lol:

What gets me is the need for companies to invent new things to scare us with. With toothpaste and brushes we've had just about everything you can think of, or so you'd think. We've had all the gribble infecting the tongue, up the side of the gums, beneath the tooth enamel, in the iddy biddy bits between teeth, and everywhere else it seems, but now I see someone is banging on about what terrors lurk below the gums and how their fantasmopaste is the one to solve this new nightmare.

These comapnies must make a fortune out of preying on the fears of people with all the killer bugs lurking in the kitchen and bathroom, the nasties that can occur in the mouth, plus all the gels, pads and pessaries that women are required to stick in their shreddies or up their whoopsies to combat all sorts of undesirable things that we blokes either don't get or simply don't care about. No wonder more people are getting cleaning OCDs and the like.


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## Franzpan (Mar 2, 2009)

I hate the ones where they are interviewing 'real people' for thier view on the product. Obviously its all scripted, Id rather them just tell the facts straight rather than an actor saying 'Ive used this product for a week and its helped me nlah blahhhh blahhh........."


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## WhichOne'sPink? (Dec 13, 2011)

Darlofan said:


> Toothpaste ad with the "scanner"that detects plaque gets me, especially as the small print says it's not a scanner just for illustrative purposes.


This advert makes me rage every time I see it 

THAT TECHNOLOGY DOES NOT EXIST! :devil:


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## SurGie (Aug 6, 2010)

Adverts what are they lol, i use sky plus and record programmes with adds then fast forward.


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## Auto Detox (Dec 22, 2007)

all of them hate ads with a passion, sky+ & fast forward 

I feel your pain guys ! :thumb:


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## Auto Detox (Dec 22, 2007)

SurGie said:


> Adverts what are they lol, i use sky plus and record programmes with adds then fast forward.


ha ha beat me to it :thumb:


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## Multipla Mick (Feb 5, 2006)

It's alright for you lot with Sky and whatnot, bleedin show offs :lol: I've got poverty vision and have to suffer all these things in the name of watching Correy and the occasional game of footy. At least the Meerkats are entertaining, that's something I suppose.


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## Captain Pugwash (Mar 23, 2011)

Now be honest...you did'nt expect Everest to be doing that now did you 

what sell double glazing !!!! YES I DID


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## svended (Oct 7, 2011)

Deano said:


> the ads for new films get my blood boiling.
> 
> " in cinemas feb 3"
> 
> no, it's out FEBRUARY THE THIRD, NOT FEBRUARY THREE!! ARGHHHH! :lol:


Americanisms. Really get my back up. :devil:


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## john2garden (Nov 16, 2006)

There are loads on that wind me up

Iceland with Stacey Soloman
The BT Ads
Swift cover
Direct Line
Confused.com 

They must purposely make them irritating otherwise you would not remember which company they are advertising!!


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## herbiedacious (Sep 27, 2010)

Hate that smug money grabbing b!tch that goes "Kerchinnnnng",you know,the one sitting with her mother.Just shoes the power of advertising,don't even remrmber whar the advert's for!

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk


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## Naddy37 (Oct 27, 2005)

Who else thinks that poor Mikey Multiply needs to "bang one out" to relieve some tension?

And that We Buy Any Car advert winds me up....arghhh


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## Deano (Jul 7, 2006)

has anyone seen the saniflo ad? Christ that's annoying.


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## alan_mcc (Oct 28, 2008)

Deano said:


> oh and the toothpaste ads with the totally biased dental experts that say eating anything other than fresh air and watercress will make your teeth fall out unless you use this 19 quid a tube mix of polyfilla and foxs glacier mints.


:lol: :lol: :lol: brilliant.


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## Naddy37 (Oct 27, 2005)

It's the Calgon advert that drives me nuts. Oh, and that stupid t**t trying to speak japanese. "yes my little lotus flower", or sommat, idiot.


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## Darlofan (Nov 24, 2010)

Multipla Mick said:


> I forgot that  I honestly shouted 'Third you f*ckwit' at the telly when that came on the other night  :lol:
> 
> :lol: Spot on! :lol:
> 
> ...


You've just reminded me of the hand sanitiser ads, now one with an electronic dispenser so no need to touch it. FFS dirt never did anyone any harm, we need dirt and germs to build up immune systems. My mother in law falls for all these and is forever washing and wiping the kids hands, doe my bloody head in. I give the kids food when they haven't washed their hands just to wind her up


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## Deano (Jul 7, 2006)

neilos said:


> It's the Calgon advert that drives me nuts. Oh, and that stupid t**t trying to speak japanese. "yes my little lotus flower", or sommat, idiot.


rosetta stone? what he meant to say was あなたは醜い牛の何をしたいですか

brownie points to whoever gets it.


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## Naddy37 (Oct 27, 2005)

Deano said:


> rosetta stone? what he meant to say was あなたは醜い牛の何をしたいですか
> 
> brownie points to whoever gets it.


Don't you just love a smart **** admin....


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## Deano (Jul 7, 2006)

neilos said:


> Don't you just love a smart **** admin....


is there any other kind? :lol:


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## CrazyDave (Jan 27, 2012)

Watching a film, any film on the tv drives me nuts. Not satisfied with chopping out bits that might contain a smidge of mild innuendo, (who actually decides what I''m allowed to see on my behalf?!?!?) the poor actors barely spat out the final line before "And next on ITV 1, another chance to see some pointless drivel we've decided to repeat because the program controllers completley bereft of the imagination to put anything else on, and even if he wasn't we've blown the buget on pole dancing clubs and chocolate hob-nobs."

Tombola bingo has to be the worst advert though. Annoying jolly song with carefully staged shots of bingo freaks 'enjoying' themselves in cliched situations. You just know the 'cast' dont get out often and in real life spend all day sitting behind their computers in their underwear, eating pizza and squandering their benifit payments on online bingo.

Oh, and Direct Line, "were not on price comparison sites..." no wonder, evertime I waste an extra ten minutes filling out your online form your twice the price!


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## S63 (Jan 5, 2007)

Well done Michael, been needing an "in"

Don't know if it's the same in other regions but our local weather forecasters simply refuse to use the word "snow". , we don't get snow, we get "wintery showers".......all Michael Fishs' fault....cop out.

Also, why can we have a weekend of quiet conditions but never noisy conditions.


I am sitting on sofa seven eating very posh petite pois waiting for Deirdre's neck veins to explode.


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## WhichOne'sPink? (Dec 13, 2011)

CrazyDave said:


> "...we've blown the buget on pole dancing clubs and chocolate hob-nobs."


What else is there to spend money on??? :lol:


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## Deano (Jul 7, 2006)

CrazyDave said:


> Watching a film, any film on the tv drives me nuts. Not satisfied with chopping out bits that might contain a smidge of mild innuendo, (who actually decides what I''m allowed to see on my behalf?!?!?) the poor actors barely spat out the final line before "And next on ITV 1, another chance to see some pointless drivel we've decided to repeat because the program controllers completley bereft of the imagination to put anything else on, and even if he wasn't we've blown the buget on pole dancing clubs and chocolate hob-nobs."
> 
> *Tombola bingo has to be the worst advert though. Annoying jolly song with carefully staged shots of bingo freaks 'enjoying' themselves in cliched situations. You just know the 'cast' dont get out often and in real life spend all day sitting behind their computers in their underwear, eating pizza and squandering their benifit payments on online bingo.
> *
> Oh, and Direct Line, "were not on price comparison sites..." no wonder, evertime I waste an extra ten minutes filling out your online form your twice the price!


FPMSL! :lol: :thumb:


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## Mick (Jan 23, 2010)

Deano said:


> あなたは醜い牛の何をしたいですか
> 
> brownie points to whoever gets it.


no i most certainly dont, do you? :lol: :thumb:


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## Deano (Jul 7, 2006)

Mick said:


> no i most certainly dont, do you? :lol: :thumb:


meh, why not. :lol:


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## Multipla Mick (Feb 5, 2006)

Great replies on here, laughing like hell at some of them and agreeing with all of them 



neilos said:


> Who else thinks that poor Mikey Multiply needs to "bang one out" to relieve some tension?
> 
> And that We Buy Any Car advert winds me up....arghhh


:lol: Mikey Multiply indeed, cheeky bugga :lol: As for the banging one out bit, actually that must be the one thing there isn't an advert about! No ointments for blistered palms, no easy clean splatter guards for porn artistic magazines or laptop screens...



Darlofan said:


> You've just reminded me of the hand sanitiser ads, now one with an electronic dispenser so no need to touch it. FFS dirt never did anyone any harm, we need dirt and germs to build up immune systems. My mother in law falls for all these and is forever washing and wiping the kids hands, doe my bloody head in. I give the kids food when they haven't washed their hands just to wind her up


On the BBC news once, they had a government sponsored kitchen hygene roadshow that was touring the country, and old chicken in the basket, cheese in the pocket Worral Thompson was the celeb chosen to front it. But give him credit where it's due, he said exactly what you said, that you need bacteria and you mustn't get carried away with all these cleaning potions around the house as it just isn't necessary. Bet a few Govt types were rolling their eyes there.

As for the hands free soap dispenser, if you took that idea on Dragon's Den I reckon they'd pull it to shreds on one basic thing, you're going to wash your hands anyway, so what does it matter if the pump handle or tap is a bit grubby? Load of tosh.


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## J1ODY A (Nov 28, 2008)

Would appear the creators have done what they set out to do... be remembered!!!

Info-mercials are my fav... particularly anything JML I can watch for hours.

The most annoying ad:





My fav ad:


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## alan_mcc (Oct 28, 2008)

I said you buy one - you get one free!! :lol:


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## svended (Oct 7, 2011)

neilos said:


> It's the Calgon advert that drives me nuts. Oh, and that stupid t**t trying to speak japanese. "yes my little lotus flower", or sommat, idiot.


It's not even lip synced properly.

I still can't get the cillit bang advert out my head. Why ow why does he shout, surely he knows that if I can't hear him on a television, I'd turn the bleeding volume up.


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## herbiedacious (Sep 27, 2010)

Confused.com ads are annoying,not to mention surreal,how does she manage to keep all those items stored in her clunge?


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## Stezz (Apr 29, 2011)

herbiedacious said:


> Hate that smug money grabbing b!tch that goes "Kerchinnnnng",you know,the one sitting with her mother.Just shoes the power of advertising,don't even remrmber whar the advert's for!
> 
> Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk


Isn't that the Rightmove ad?

One ad that got my goat was for an oven cleaning solution, can't remember the name of it now. But it had a woman glaring at her husband while he was trying to clean an oven shelf.

I hated that much, I complained to OFCOM

I'm surprised nobody mention that god awful ad "Go Compare" surely watching some moustachio lard a**e prancing around the screen more annoying


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## Ross (Apr 25, 2007)

Thats why I record anything I want to watch so I can FF through the guff,actually not much left after I do :lol:


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