# Mysteries of the Carnauba Trade Pt 2, Fun with weight



## Dodo Factory (Apr 11, 2007)

Greetings wax fans,

After having a bit of fun on the kitchen stove playing around with dry volumes vs wet volumes vs dry weight as means of measuring carnauba content, I decided to set our chemists a bit of a project.

As volume would normally be interpreted as a wet volume for a product sold in mls, or a dry weight for a product sold in grammes, I decided to ignore the misleading dry volume method of calculation. I figured that this must be some kind of marketing ruse as there would be no scientific basis for measuring out product in this way and it also massively inflates the magic carnauba percentage.

The wet volumes and dry weights are pretty similar anyway, in terms of the carnauba concentrations that result, so my challenge was simple. To ask the chemists to prepare a wax with a genuine 70% concentration of carnauba in it, such as the layman would expect from the term: i.e. 100g of product would contain 70g of pure T1 brazilian no.1 grade carnauba.

We then packaged the result into three different containers, and tested it. Sadly, we could not get it to work as a car wax at all, but we decided that it would make the filling for a range of designer Dodo paper weights that would set the world of desktop tidies alight. So we mischievously called it 'FLAT EARTH' just in case people really thought it would spread like Lurpak on a warm day.

Here is container No.1. We called it Faberge Flat Earth after getting it posthumously commissioned by Peter Faberge himself during a seance. After buying the container from ebay - and yes it does exist and is filled with 70% carnauba - this paperweight is awaiting a new home for the bargain price of just 12,000 GBP. For this price, it is not refillable but a minion from Dodo Juice will come out and place it on your desk in person - whatever planet you're on.










Container No.2 was obviously going to be more popular. A standard Dodo jar, sporting the carnauba percentage on the front, and the instructions for paper weight usage on the back. Note how more A4 paper can be accommodated than foolscap.



















Finally, knowing how people like to test things, we released these mini paper weights into the wild. 'Flat Earth Junior', available in a 30ml panel pot, is only really suitable for air mail letters, but it does bring Flat Earth to a wider audience.



















I have got five to give away - all you have to do is come up with an anagram of 'flat earth carnauba paper weight' that makes myself or pj chuckle. I am not even sure if it is anagramable, but frankly we don't care. You must work for your freebies.

For everyone else, we may flog a few novelty Flat Earth paper weights for 10 GBP inc VAT, although the supply may be limited. Mainly because we realise that jokes, as well as carnauba wax, can wear thin after a while 

Best regards,
Team Dodo


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## PhillipM (Jun 7, 2007)

That made me laugh!

But, I bet I can actually apply a layer of that that to a whole car


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## Dodo Factory (Apr 11, 2007)

LOL, you can give it a go. I did. Andy C has some footage of him trying to prep my car with it. It is very unconvincing as a car wax. It even marred the front wing a little bit


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## PhillipM (Jun 7, 2007)

I managed pure carnuaba on one wing a while back, gave up after just the one though!
Are we going to get a matching set then, I mean, if you drilled some holes in the wax it could double as a pencil holder. In fact, you could probably make a pencil sharpener with a little more...


Dodo Stationary sets, coming soon....:lol:


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## haxbyscoobs (Dec 1, 2006)

can i have the faberge one please and will you take freshly robbed bank notes?


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## Thomas2003 (Jan 31, 2008)

You could always use the flat earth paper weights as Ice Hockey Pucs !!


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## little john (Jun 10, 2007)

or slice thinly lay on the car and melt with a heat gun


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## little john (Jun 10, 2007)

I can't come up with a single sentance useing all the letters but can come up with 2 from flat earth carnauba I get 
A Natural Bath Farce 
or
A Tarantula Bra Chef

and from paper weight
Ah Pewter Pig


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## Epoch (Jul 30, 2006)

Up the great ape if braw charlatan


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## AndyC (Oct 25, 2005)

:lol: 

Nice work Dodo.

Saturday's testing with this "product" was a surprise in many ways - it was basically like using a hard wax crayon on your paint. It left some shine for sure but on my cars? No way Pedro! Some micro marring left behind too.

And on softer paints? :doublesho Rather you than me. Will try to post up the little video we made a bit later - all that's missing is Dom laughing like a Bond villain as I gamely laid into his wing with a solid block of wax.


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## drive 'n' shine (Apr 22, 2006)

Dodo Factory said:


> Here is container No.1. We called it Faberge Flat Earth after getting it posthumously commissioned by Peter Faberge himself during a seance. After buying the container from ebay - and yes it does exist and is filled with 70% carnauba - this paperweight is awaiting a new home for the bargain price of just 12,000 GBP. For this price, it is not refillable but a minion from Dodo Juice will come out and place it on your desk in person - whatever planet you're on.


:lol::lol::lol:

Don't know where you got the inspiration Dom, hope you've copyrighted this idea


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## Deanoecosse (Mar 15, 2007)

Dom, dont you know anything about marketing an ostentatious wax container?? It MUST have your signature engraved on the front of it, then everyone will fall over themselves to pay such a large amount for the honour of owning it.


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## Dodo Factory (Apr 11, 2007)

Keep the anagrams coming - you can shorten the sentence if you want as Little John has done. I will reward him for his efforts so send me a PM Mr LJ! I like the Bath Farce and Bra Chef ones


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## Sam08ST (Oct 27, 2007)

"flat earth carnauba paper weight"

A Attachable Wafer Paper Hurting  

:lol:

A attachment you put onto your wafer of papers to keep them down. But it can hurt if used wrongly (car panels)!


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## Harley (Oct 19, 2006)

A Flat earth carnauba paper weight

sorry Best i coulddo I had a "a" left over but could be used 

"A nuttier chewable fat paragraph"

"A nuttier chewable fata paragraph"

or ( i love this i could do this all day)

"Pirate fat, arguable wrath panache"


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## Waller (Jan 2, 2008)

"A Paraphernalia Batch, Get Wet Fur"

OK, must get back to work, thats taken too long


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## Toolman (Nov 17, 2007)

Since I'll be detailing a couple of Bugatti Veyrons soon, may I have one please?...I could post up some photos of how good the paper weight look beside these cars and before you know it, you can sell your limited edition personally signed "high-carnuba-content-Faberge-egg" version for GBP15,000 a pop...easy! :thumb: :argie:


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## Detail My Ride (Apr 19, 2006)

Mine came. Have just Waxed a car with it. Flipping CRAZY AWESOME STUFF.

:lol:

Ta, Dom. Deffo the best of my many many, expensive paper weights.


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## Alex_225 (Feb 7, 2008)

Clutching at straws with this one but I think its got all the letters in it!! lol

CLAW A FAT TART RAPIN' BUGER 'EHAAH!' 

Makes no sense!!


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## WHIZZER (Oct 25, 2005)

well my paper weight arrived today and has taken pride of place on my desk ....


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## littlemissGTO (Feb 11, 2008)

Awesome paperweight where can I get one? Sometimes living in the US has it's disadvantages.


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## dubnut71 (Jul 25, 2006)

Anagram of Flat Earth.........

How about "dodo fathered my love child...."

Not an anagram but hell its a good headline!!!!!!!:thumb:


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## *MAGIC* (Feb 22, 2007)

Received mine today :thumb:


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## Dodo Factory (Apr 11, 2007)

littlemissGTO said:


> Awesome paperweight where can I get one? Sometimes living in the US has it's disadvantages.


We are flogging them for 10 GBP each, or 8.51 GBP without VAT to the US etc. plus 1.50 GBP for postage (domestic and worldwide). PM me to order.

It's a bargain compared to some of the other 70% products out there 

Or you can come up with a daft anagram and you may get one for free. We have four more to give away (Little John got the first one). I will close the competition at midnight tonight, seeing as April Fools' Day will be over then.

And to recap, all these products do exist. I think I shocked one of our resellers when he jokingly ordered 10x paperweights and I started getting the invoice ready, LOL!!!


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## 11068 (Dec 28, 2007)

Dodo Factory said:


> We are flogging them for 10 GBP each, or 8.51 GBP without VAT to the US etc. plus 1.50 GBP for postage (domestic and worldwide). PM me to order.
> 
> It's a bargain compared to some of the other 70% products out there
> 
> ...


Have to say I almost fell for it until it came in the post this morning. Don't taste that nice though Dom?? And my tongue is now water proof for the next 3 months  Not listening to you again!!!!

Dom @ wp


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## fraz1975 (Jul 29, 2007)

A quality product no doubt  

My best anagram is 

Fat Publican grew para at Heather 

:thumb:


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## niney (Mar 5, 2008)

this is the best line i could do: 

"HELP...er...a fat tart wearing a hubcap"

used all letters


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## kk1966 (Aug 8, 2007)

Didnt manage to get to pick my post up yet ......gutted


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## SimonW (Jun 3, 2007)

I cant seem to put mine down! Im hoping it may turn into real car wax when its the next full moon


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## littlemissGTO (Feb 11, 2008)

Dodo Factory said:


> We are flogging them for 10 GBP each, or 8.51 GBP without VAT to the US etc. plus 1.50 GBP for postage (domestic and worldwide). PM me to order.
> 
> It's a bargain compared to some of the other 70% products out there
> 
> ...


Will do on both counts. Give me a few minutes to try to come up with an anagram.
"A beer fart an thighs clap."


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## conor.pharrell (Oct 18, 2006)

whats going on here? can u actually use this wax?


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## Dodo Factory (Apr 11, 2007)

No.



That is the point. We made a genuine 70% carnauba wax measured in the traditional sense of actually containing 70% carnauba as a raw ingredient by dry weight. It doesn't apply to panels, you can't use it. It is, however, a lovely paper weight.


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## prelude_stan (Mar 30, 2007)

Dunno if these make any sense or not:

arrange papa wheelchair - fat butt!
charitable wear - apparent *** hut
fabricate perpetual hangar, what?
tap a grapefruit - he thwart balance

Random :lol:


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## bigjse (Mar 20, 2008)

"flat earth carnauba paper weight"

"ultraenergetic prat haha"


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## PhillipM (Jun 7, 2007)

I can get:

"the wrathful great ape bra panic"


For when Queen Kong can't find her sports bra.
But I have the letter 'a' left over.


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## Buck (Jan 16, 2008)

Jeeps I've just wasted an hour of my life. Here goes: -

From _"flat earth carnauba paper weight"_ to: -

- A crap abrupt anal Featherweight 

- le bra can hear a fat weight part up (my token French!)


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## garfie_1999 (Jul 18, 2007)

percent real high but raw


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## Sharpy (Mar 25, 2007)

using all letters from flat earth carnuba weight i got 

"watch the fir tree bug alan"

nearly had "get the anal probe father" but 'o' is not in the sentence 

and i sat how sad and found all the words you can get using the words flat earth paperweight, stopped when i filled a page

alf, fat, flaw,tea,ear,rat,the,raw,car,nub,ban,bar,bun,barn,cub,curb,can,run,rub,but,butt,air,reap,par,ape,rape,the,get,hit,hew,prepare,wreath,learn,later,lather,leaf,threat,aghast,again,anger,wig,preface,gaiter,cater,writer,water,writ,aerial,report,tribe,there,their,threaten,treat,rebate,relate,truth,lie,ire,wet,fail,father,falter,flake,filter,slap,flab,get,gut,gain,gather,grain,grab,grub,girl,glue,gale,rain,rent,when,neat,neither,nether,weather,neither

and many more but decided to stop as i was giving myself a headache


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## prelude_stan (Mar 30, 2007)

garfie_1999 said:


> percent real high but raw


You're missing some letters out of that  but it's not a bad anagram :lol:

Here is a modified one that I've done - probably what you say after trying to rub in some Flat Earth:

"I rub a great fat percent - wah!"


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## Deano_2104 (Dec 3, 2007)

loving the dodo juice comedy 

i could do with something like that maybe fill my nearly empty purple haze with some stones for all the paper


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## Dodo Factory (Apr 11, 2007)

Thanks for all the anagram entries guys; I am particularly heartened how you managed to get fart and anal into many of the attempts 

Anyway, after literally minutes of deliberation, I marked all the submitted anagrams out of 20, with points for using all the letters, relevance etc. and the winners of the last four panel pots are:

Niney - 15/20
LittlemissGTO - 13/20
Prelude Stan - between 13 and 15 out of 20 (would have been an 18 but an 'L' was missing from your last attempt )
and
Sharpy24 - 13/20

Everyone else came close, between 9 and 12.5 out of 20. So not a bad effort!

So could the four winners mentioned above please PM me with their name and address, or email dom at dodojuice dot com. A paper weight will be sent out shortly 

Many thanks
DF


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## little john (Jun 10, 2007)

Hey Dom, does flat earth use yellow or white carnauba.


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## Dodo Factory (Apr 11, 2007)

They are the same.

White carnauba is the term commonly given to 'micronised', i.e. very finely milled, yellow carnauba. It may also refer to heavily bleached yellow carnauba, but this isn't as common as micronisation.

Carnauba is yellow, or rather brown in its natural state. It is then refined, purified and/or bleached at various points in the production process. Pale yellow is the most usual colour for T1 grade carnauba (the finest grade carnauba, some cheaper waxes use T3).

I will paint some carnauba black if you want and sell you ultra-rare black carnauba extracted from the Mauritian Carnauba Mines


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## Waller (Jan 2, 2008)

Aww that's Harsh, I used all 28! Now what am I going to hold my in tray down with??? :lol:


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## Kinnell (Nov 6, 2007)

"its a MIRACLE  if this sticks to your car"


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## little john (Jun 10, 2007)

Im going to use my pot on my car, I dont do loose paper so it will be used to hold my old dish cloths on the car to prevent them blowing off in the wind. so they will be easily available when I need to buff any polish off or dry an area.



Dodo Factory said:


> They are the same.
> 
> White carnauba is the term commonly given to 'micronised', i.e. very finely milled, yellow carnauba. It may also refer to heavily bleached yellow carnauba, but this isn't as common as micronisation.


And I'm sure we are made to believe white is better than yellow


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## Sharpy (Mar 25, 2007)

cheers dom, pm coming your way


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## ryanuk (Jun 22, 2007)

thanks for mine dom


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## littlemissGTO (Feb 11, 2008)

Wow I actually won. Very cool. Looking forward to a package showing up. 
Dom mind if I use your carnauba posts to help educate some of my car club members about wax?


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## Dodo Factory (Apr 11, 2007)

Go right ahead. There has been too much assumption and misinformation for years in the industry.


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## littlemissGTO (Feb 11, 2008)

Very cool. I wonder how many people will understand or just say to heck with it LM detail my car...LOL


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## 11068 (Dec 28, 2007)

Waller said:


> Aww that's Harsh, I used all 28! Now what am I going to hold my in tray down with??? :lol:


Mine's for sale, though now I melted it into a nice (very small) cut crystal glass bowl Its now worth £500 (plus p+p) and vat after all it is 70% T1 rare black carnauba extracted from the Mauritian Carnauba mines by Mauritian virgins!!!

Any taker's?? (For the wax not the Mauritian Virgins)!!

:lol:


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## kk1966 (Aug 8, 2007)

Picked mine up today...cheers Dom


Jeeez....its rock hard:doublesho


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## niney (Mar 5, 2008)

oo i won thanks :c) pm sent.


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## little john (Jun 10, 2007)

My Flat Earth arrived today, I will put it on my sisters car if the weather is dry tomorrow. Along side supernatural.


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## Dodo Factory (Apr 11, 2007)

John, it is not a serious wax... it is a paper weight  It is far too hard for sensible and reasonable application, which is the point we are making. Better to have three fully cured and bonded layers of 25% carnauba wax than one application of a 75% carnauba wax that crumbles and possibly marrs the surface. Waxes need the other ingredients to spread, bond and cure.


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## Sharpy (Mar 25, 2007)

Got mine this morning, cheers Dom 

Cant belive how hard it is!! Would have to melt it with a lighter or something to get it onto an applicator let along actually wax the car with it lol


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## PhillipM (Jun 7, 2007)

Dodo Factory said:


> John, it is not a serious wax... it is a paper weight  It is far too hard for sensible and reasonable application, which is the point we are making. Better to have three fully cured and bonded layers of 25% carnauba wax than one application of a 75% carnauba wax that crumbles and possibly marrs the surface. Waxes need the other ingredients to spread, bond and cure.


I've got a blowtorch.


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## Dodo Factory (Apr 11, 2007)

You can melt carnauba (84 degrees C does the trick) in a double boiler etc but the problem is that when it is applied to a surface it will solidify and not bond. It chips off like candle wax does on a glass coffee table.

When made into a paste, carnauba can adhere to surfaces a lot better, especially if it has some other ingredients mixed with it (beeswax is used a fair bit in car waxes not only for its beading but because it is a bit stickier).


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## PhillipM (Jun 7, 2007)

Will if you warm the panel, it'll be like soldering :lol:

Only problem is I know for a fact the paint on the car will only withstand 120...


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## Sharpy (Mar 25, 2007)

well give it a whirl let us know how you get on


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## little john (Jun 10, 2007)

Well I had a go today, it started to snow so it was just the bonet of my sisters 08 corsa SXi, I wasnt going to do the whole car as the clean I gave it forst I discovered that the scratches I found from when it was bought are still there even after the garrage suposedly sorted them out earlier this week.

A few pictures for you
I tried the flat earth with a pad with a spritz of last touch but it wouldnt touch it, I decided to heat it up a little to try and get some movement in to it. I also put the applicator pad in the microwave for 60 seconds the LT heated up and the pad was toasty
Low surface temp radiators are great for heating the home but not for softening flat earth.








Next I started the engine in her corsa and put the flt earth on it, not really enough even after 20 minutes hey its only a 1.2 corsa








Bring out my car a 1.9 diesel it did create more heat but still not perfect but it did help








Last resort was to put the pot in a pan of water and boil it, I know Dom said this is how he melts carnauba in his kitchen








Perfect the wax would now give me a coating on the pad after I microwaved the pad again I set to work

Flat Earth on the left and Supernatural on the right









I actually used the pan to keep the wax soft while I worked it on the paint, and the engine had been running for a while so the bonnet was warm which helped with the flat earth both for applying and the buffing process. The edges of the bonnet were cooler and were a little tough. My first time with solid wax and both went on pretty easily I was supprised, the SN was easier as it was softer but getting the stuff on the pad is a little hard due to the sample pot size but a little does go along way 3 wipes did half the bonnet.

The result









A few hours latter after some snow you can see the beading on both halfs of the bonnet is very good so durability doesn't seem a problem for either wax. I actually like the finish from both waxes, the supernatural looks stuning and the shine is excelent. The flat earth is very similar to the supernatural but getting an even finish was more dificult especially close to the edges of the bonnet it just doesnt have the shine of the central area I expect this to be due to not being able to buff it off as easy i proberbly left some on at the edges.


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## Dodo Factory (Apr 11, 2007)

LOL, interesting experiment John 

Not bad for a paperweight


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## Deano_2104 (Dec 3, 2007)

think i will keep mine as a paperweight  and stick with super natural


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## littlemissGTO (Feb 11, 2008)

My Flat Earth showed up today. Thanks Dom. Of course it's raining so I can't test it out on the car.


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