# detailing related fall outs with other half?



## deegan1979 (Mar 6, 2012)

As title, have any of u ever had any detailing related fallouts with your other half?
I work hard all week long and while I enjoy some family time over the weekends what really helps me relax and unwind is a spot of detailing. Be it simply washing and hoovering the car or a full blown polishing session.
but every week without fail I do all the family things and still I get sh#t when I want to spend a few hours just cleaning a car that hasnt been cleaned for 6 weeks again because all of those last six weeks I got sh#t everytime I mentioned doing it.
dont think she realises that unlike her I work more than 3 days a week and need something to do just for me, wound up so tight I might pop in a minute


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## Deanoecosse (Mar 15, 2007)

Man up, get her told. Simples


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## Shiny (Apr 23, 2007)

Same problem. 

Been down the allotment with her for 2 hrs this morning and said we will relax in the afternoon. 

Just been down the garage to touch in some stone chips and got "oh I thought you were going to sit in the garden with me ". She'd rather I sat round doing nothing than play with the car. 

I'm fortunate that I now have Wednesday afternoons as me time, but now she is home Wednesdays so they are gradually turning into shopping days and other non me day stuff. 

But she cooks my food, washes my dirty pants and is a good mother to the kids, so things could be worse.


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## deegan1979 (Mar 6, 2012)

Deanoecosse said:


> Man up, get her told. Simples


Yeah if only it were so simples.


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## Shiny (Apr 23, 2007)

Deanoecosse said:


> Man up, get her told. Simples


That sounds like advice from a single man...:lol:


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## deegan1979 (Mar 6, 2012)

Shiny said:


> Same problem.
> 
> Been down the allotment with her for 2 hrs this morning and said we will relax in the afternoon.
> 
> ...


Mine only works 3 days a week and its her car.lol
ive done everything today in the hope of brownie points but oh no.
in general shes cool otherwise id have binned her years ago but since I got into detailing the mere mention of the subject and u can see the face change.
just got told " why cant u be a normal bloke that pops out and washes the car in an hour"


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## Deanoecosse (Mar 15, 2007)

Shiny said:


> That sounds like advice from a single man...:lol:


Unfortunately not Lloyd! Its advice from someone who's been married to a Paramedic for 15 years and hence she gets loads of time off during the week to do her thing, but likes to moan at me if I want a few hours to myself at the weekend on the only 2 days I get off. I feel the O.P's pain but you just have to set the Mrs straight about needing some time to yourself.


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## suspal (Dec 29, 2011)

Best advice is stop trying to understand trying to understand them.


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## AndyA4TDI (May 7, 2012)

My wife prefers me being outside. I am really lucky, my wife works full time, is doing a degree, tells me she feels bad about not having more time together and fully supports my detailing madness.


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## AndyA4TDI (May 7, 2012)

Hi Deegan, this is not the first time you have posted about conflicts between detailing and family time, time to sit down and talk this over with your partner mate.


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## deegan1979 (Mar 6, 2012)

AndyA4TDI said:


> Hi Deegan, this is not the first time you have posted about conflicts between detailing and family time, time to sit down and talk this over with your partner mate.


Indeed it isnt the first time andy.
sat in the garden now, doing the family thing.
probly doesnt help shes preggers.
I think with the amount of products I have I shouldve just had the car corrected and coated which would have meant I could be one of those guys that does pop out for an hour to wash it.
roll on retirement eh only 31 more years


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## MDC250 (Jan 4, 2014)

Deanoecosse said:


> Man up, get her told. Simples


LMAO :lol:

What's your take on the Middle East, stop bickering and play nice?!

In all seriousness I too share the OP's frustration. SWMBO is 3 days a week and today I've looked after our daughter, been to swimming, mowed the lawn with said daughter sat on my shoulders and now out with the pram and 2 dogs.

SWMBO has met a friend for breakfast, watched me mow the lawn struggling to avoid running over the power cable and has now gone back to bed as feels a cold coming on!

Have a stressful job and cleaning the car has been an unexpected release. Just not today looks like it's gonna pee down having been nice all day!

:devil:


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## Naddy37 (Oct 27, 2005)

Joys of being single. But, I still get it off mother. "You cleaned it yesterday, why you cleaning it again".


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## craigeh123 (Dec 26, 2011)

Basically they hate you doing anything for yourself ,. When i did jujitsu i got moaned at then when i pack stuff in im "faddy" and now I've bought a multigym as id like to do some muscle work i mentioned changing diet and got the usual we cant afford it , i then find out shes signed up to her friends boot camp at 35 quid a month. Always seems to be a little spare when she wants it , moans like **** shes working 3 evenings a week , but does have the kids in the day , even said the other day at least you get out the house everyday (apparently going to work counts as going out) . Honestly if it wasn't for the kids i would leave , and she wonders why im miserable !


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## bradleymarky (Nov 29, 2013)

My Wife is always asking if I`m going to work to clean the car to get rid of me.............


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## AndyA4TDI (May 7, 2012)

Congratulations mate, if memory serves you have a little girl as well. I think the best thing to do is settle on a polish, wax or sealant, QD etc and this will allow for more family time. Wash the car every week, QD in under an hour and the car will look great. Every 6 months do a major detail. Settling on one of each product will also free up cash for more important things than detailing.


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## AndyA4TDI (May 7, 2012)

My wife had no issue with me bringing my alloys, with tyres on into the kitchen yesterday to seal them. She is very understanding and appreciates that I need an outlet from work.


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## MDC250 (Jan 4, 2014)

AndyA4TDI said:


> Congratulations mate, if memory serves you have a little girl as well. I think the best thing to do is settle on a polish, wax or sealant, QD etc and this will allow for more family time. Wash the car every week, QD in under an hour and the car will look great. Every 6 months do a major detail. Settling on one of each product will also free up cash for more important things than detailing.


That's the plan just not had the chance to get the cars straight to start with.

After all that is said and done you are right family comes before anything. Period.


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## Ge03 (Jul 19, 2011)

You can always hope that SWMBO will understand a well reasoned explanation, that you find it relaxing and it's a better 'pastime' than being out down the pub with your old mates and playing darts or snooker. At least she knows where you are and what you're doing lol.


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## Flakey (May 5, 2013)

It's a tightrope. I usually alternate time with family with my detailing tasks instead of just being with the car 3 days in a row, like I used to. 

Last time I did a full detail, I remember taking her out for dinner on Friday night and then some shopping and a movie on Saturday. Saturday evening I just washed, decontaminated and washed again and came back in for more family time. Sunday I finished all the compounding, polishing, clay etc. Monday I took the day off and finished the sealant, tires and trims, interior cleaning and dressing etc.


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## G4V JW (Jul 6, 2012)

Feel for the op !

Mines as good as gold , helps that she drives and likes her car to look nice too , we both get time to do our own thing , both work full time and have kids too , just finding a balance :thumb:


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## deegan1979 (Mar 6, 2012)

Thanks for the posts, made me laugh a few did.
hasnt been a bad day park, swings hide n seek amd all that but the car looks sh#te.
Dunno whats gunna happen next weekend as im supposed to he spending a day on her mates car saturday.


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## Walesy. (Oct 1, 2009)

Mine is actually rather supportive, I do the cars and she does the house...simples. 

Sometimes she actually does help me if the house work is done...hopefully she doesn't think that it is going to work the other way.


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## craigeh123 (Dec 26, 2011)

That said id rather take the kids out than clean the car , i clean my car at work during lunch


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## Kriminal (Jan 11, 2007)

deegan1979 said:


> Thanks for the posts, made me laugh a few did.
> hasnt been a bad day park, swings hide n seek amd all that but the car looks sh#te.
> Dunno whats gunna happen next weekend as im supposed to he spending a day on her mates car saturday.


^ get 'em to play hide n seek every week - they'll never think you'll be washing the car <wink wink>....

...either that, or tell her that you've had a phone call from your mates to go down the pub for the afternoon. When she kicks up a fuss and goes off on one, tell her you don't mind ringing 'em and staying home to clean the car for a hour or two. This way she'll go mental at the 'worse case scenario', and the detailing won't look so bad. 
:thumb:


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## Andyrat85 (Oct 7, 2013)

It's not so much the cleaning that she has a problem with it's the amount of time I spend doing it.

And it's when boxes start turning up and she like how much has this cost or even worse spots the bloody invoice lol


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## jenks (Apr 20, 2009)

Just explain that we don't all approve of societies throwaway attitude to things nowadays and some of us actually look after things, so that last longer, allowing us to save money to spend on the family.
Funny how she doesn't mind you spending time on her mate car! Double standards!


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## HEADPHONES (Jan 1, 2008)

Been in the same situation as the OP since 2nd sprog arrived 3yrs ago.
Half the time I'm resentful and the other half I think how the kids are only "little" for such a short time then won't want daddy cramping their style.

I have a few good tips I have resorted to.

1. Fit outside security halogens and you can wash at night.

2. Try some "fast" products.
I haven't used my Collinite in ages.
Now use C2v3 sealant which doesn't need surface to be bone dry.
My HydrO2 is even faster.......wash, rinse, spray and jet off!

3. If your local supermarket has a jet wash you could do "covert" sessions.
I do the groceries on Fridays about 10pm.
I take my prewash, wheel brush, mitt and a few 2l pump spray bottles filled 
With shampoo.
Spray prewash, hold sprayer in left and wash with mitt in right hand under 
a constant stream of clean shampoo.
A pound in the jet wash to rinse and drive home.
Missus just thinks you been "good hubby" doing the shopping:thumb:


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## asspur96 (Jan 24, 2014)

Have this with the missus explained that as well as helping me chill out ! Keeps me fit as doing desk/ sales job don't get much exercise so cleaning car for at least 2 hours means I'm keeping fit :buffer: :lol:


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## slineclean (Dec 23, 2011)

Yes , one of the reasons im single now. like you would do or offer to the family stuff etc , all I asked in return is to wash the car once a fortnight. would even do hers if it was a sunday. No still not happy and the quote I heard before we split up when I last washed the car at hers? ' if you treated me like you treat the car? we'd be alright


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## adamangler (Mar 9, 2013)

Well, i lost my girlfriend, kids and home after 10 years because i was too selfish, so think carefully before you **** up your relationship for a bit of detailing mate

sorry lol


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## deegan1979 (Mar 6, 2012)

HEADPHONES said:


> Been in the same situation as the OP since 2nd sprog arrived 3yrs ago.
> Half the time I'm resentful and the other half I think how the kids are only "little" for such a short time then won't want daddy cramping their style.
> 
> I have a few good tips I have resorted to.
> ...


That last ones not a bad idea u know. Might have to give that a go!
Think I will pick a good time to try and put my thoughts across in the week.
armed with some good ammo from u all.


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## deegan1979 (Mar 6, 2012)

adamangler said:


> Well, i lost my girlfriend, kids and home after 10 years because i was too selfish, so think carefully before you **** up your relationship for a bit of detailing mate
> 
> sorry lol


No need to be sorry mate, is a fair point also.


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## chrisgreen (Mar 30, 2012)

deegan1979, I feel your pain.

For example, had major aggro last weekend for cleaning my alloys and more this weekend for taking a couple of hours out to fit them and take off my winter wheels.

She works from home (software developer). I work in an office and drive 400 miles a week commuting between home and work. She doesn't appreciate/understand/care that I get precious little me-time as a result.

Hence why I've kept my own place. At this stage, I don't think I could handle living there full time if this is how she's going to be all the time (not just about detailing, but about me having any of my own pastimes in general).

Sorry - rant over.


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## suspal (Dec 29, 2011)

chrisgreen said:


> deegan1979, I feel your pain.
> 
> For example, had major aggro last weekend for cleaning my alloys and more this weekend for taking a couple of hours out to fit them and take off my winter wheels.
> 
> ...


finding a happy medium bro is what it's all about :lol:


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## Brigham1806 (Apr 1, 2011)

I have never had an Argument with the other half over anything... Never mind detailing. 

Tbh detailing is a shared hobby of ours. She's just asked for an order from auto finesse for herself! 

Must be lucky...


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## muzzer (Feb 13, 2011)

My other half doesn't restrict my detailing activities as long as i keep her car clean too/save for our wedding/do up the flat but she does think i am a bit sad at how much i put into cleaning my car, until hers is dirty of course :lol:


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## Puntoboy (Jun 30, 2007)

muzzer42 said:


> My other half doesn't restrict my detailing activities as long as i keep her car clean too/save for our wedding/do up the flat but she does think i am a bit sad at how much i put into cleaning my car, until hers is dirty of course :lol:


Snap!

Spent a lot on GTechniq stuff recently and she went mad until I told her half of it was for her new car! Lol


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## slineclean (Dec 23, 2011)

it just shows how some woman are? I would happy clean the other halfs car etc and she still wasn't happy


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## danwel (Feb 18, 2007)

My time over the next 6 months is going to be limited too with weekends only available and I do find a good bit of car detailing helps me relax a touch.

My wife is very very good and I have chilled out a touch since my pride and joy has gone and more of a work horse bought.

I do think I'm going to be trying the AF power seal I won and a quick ADS NGPS for maintenance too ups plus the odd Hoover


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## mike41 (Apr 5, 2011)

My other half is ok about it.Of course she'll make the odd comment,mainly in jest,about me buying so much stuff,and how the car gets treated better than her,but she knows it's just my thing that I like doing. I work hard to look after her and the kids,so it's only fair I get some "me" time.(If I was to spend 2-3 days at a time detailing the car it wouldn't go down very well mind you.)
A full day every few months to Decon-polish-lsp etc, then keeping on top of the other stuff like trims,engine bay,interior etc as and when, and regular weekly washing, works fine for us without causing friction. As others have said it's about keeping a balance.
:thumb:
Mike


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## murkeywaters (Oct 11, 2008)

I think the overall situation here is that most of us blokes like a bit of time to ourselves... 

Me I run a business where I have to deal with lots of people (weddings) and after a wedding or 2 I really need sometime on my own in the man shed or playing with the cars but I feel guilty as its good to spend time with the missus and my lad but personally I need the time on my own to unwind and chill out and detailing a car is good karma for me..

My missus is good though and understands but not so much tonight when my tea was ready and I was trying to remove a car full of FK1000P before the sun went down...yes I had cold spagbol!!!


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## Kerr (Mar 27, 2012)

In various relationships I've been in, my girlfriend's have usually worked on shift rotations where they get time of during the week. 

For some reason these seem not to count as proper days off. They seem to do whatever they want to do. 

Suddenly at the weekend that's when things have to happen. .


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## J306TD (May 19, 2008)

Just a bit of give and take.


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## deegan1979 (Mar 6, 2012)

After a long week and a generally grumpy me I was pleasantly suprised when mrs deegan said why dont u spend the day cleaning the car. I jumped at the chance, and to be fair she was pretty good by towards the end 6 1/2 hours later I could see her patience was wearing thin but.... she kept schtum and let me get on with it.
at last I have a clean car, 
all I managed to get done was a thorough detox not including claying tho, then sealed it up with a few coats of ADS Nano gloss, and HWR on the glass.
the car was dirty took a whole bottle or iron X and a litre of tardis to get all the contaminents off. But now when I next get time it should be a lot quicker getting it ready for claying and polishing.
just nano gloss on grubby paint



im happy.... for now


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## MDC250 (Jan 4, 2014)

What's not to be happy about...clean car and a cracking car at that!

Seriously, glad you got some time. I thought this was my weekend but sadly the little one and wife are crook so the housework wins. Shame I can't be as enthusiastic for mopping and ironing as cleaning the car


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## deegan1979 (Mar 6, 2012)

MDC250 said:


> What's not to be happy about...clean car and a cracking car at that!
> 
> Seriously, glad you got some time. I thought this was my weekend but sadly the little one and wife are crook so the housework wins. Shame I can't be as enthusiastic for mopping and ironing as cleaning the car


Thanks mate.
sorry to hear your man time isnt happening.
gunna try to keep on top of keeping it tar free and hopefully in a few weeks I can give it a buzz over with the polisher.
me time def worked as I feel very content this evening


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## Blackmondie (Mar 13, 2011)

have you ever tried planning it? My wife never gives me a hard time, because she also has her hobbys and I understand. I generally wash quickly on sunday morning, she goes on a trip with her horse in the afternoon. on saterday we always do something with our baby-boy.
If I want to do some real detailing, I let her know a few weeks in advance and see if it fits. she's still a little annoyed by it, because of the many hours, but she lets me do it without a problem. thats just mutual respect you need in a relationship


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## deegan1979 (Mar 6, 2012)

Blackmondie said:


> have you ever tried planning it? My wife never gives me a hard time, because she also has her hobbys and I understand. I generally wash quickly on sunday morning, she goes on a trip with her horse in the afternoon. on saterday we always do something with our baby-boy.
> If I want to do some real detailing, I let her know a few weeks in advance and see if it fits. she's still a little annoyed by it, because of the many hours, but she lets me do it without a problem. thats just mutual respect you need in a relationship


Always try to but as u know never usually goes to plan with a little one about. Plus shes 3 months pregnant again so can be a moody judy but seriously also at fault with this obsession.
I will plan now to prep it on a fri eve and polish it the following day but tjat could be a month or so away.
what I do need to do is be quicker at washing. Then wouldnt be so bad.
takes me 2 hours for a regular wash


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## Blackmondie (Mar 13, 2011)

took me very long to, but I switched to rinseless. takes me 30 min now, so win-win


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## tightlines (Jul 16, 2011)

Without appeaing smug..... my day today consisted of, a lie in, sausage butties, she then said, right i need to clean so do you want to do the cars, six hours later she has cleaned, done the shopping, seen her mother and comes back and says is it time for a beer. We both work full time and our weekends are precious together but we know we need time to do what we want to do and chill out. Now back from beers and had tea and off to bed in a bit. time tomorrow to do whatever we want - everyone happy  thats what its about lads. PS; She noticed after my washing her car that there where "pretty flakes, all pinks, blues and silvers" in the paintwork (her words, not mine)- oh and for washing her car I got an x box charge and play battery from the supermarket run ;-)


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## Blueberry (Aug 10, 2007)

Sounds pretty much like my husband and I 👍he does the food shopping most weekends and I get on with the housework and when I've finished, I clean either mine or his car. He knows that car detailing is important to me and helps chill me out so he is very supportive after a long hard week at work 👍


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## deegan1979 (Mar 6, 2012)

tightlines said:


> Without appeaing smug..... my day today consisted of, a lie in, sausage butties, she then said, right i need to clean so do you want to do the cars, six hours later she has cleaned, done the shopping, seen her mother and comes back and says is it time for a beer. We both work full time and our weekends are precious together but we know we need time to do what we want to do and chill out. Now back from beers and had tea and off to bed in a bit. time tomorrow to do whatever we want - everyone happy  thats what its about lads. PS; She noticed after my washing her car that there where "pretty flakes, all pinks, blues and silvers" in the paintwork (her words, not mine)- oh and for washing her car I got an x box charge and play battery from the supermarket run ;-)


Yeah u smug git!
Nah I am now realising that this helps me unwind after a long week and I need to firstly plan ahead as has been mentioned and secondly explain to the better half how it helps me.
She does know I think but as im so anal about doing things correctly and sloooowly I probly dont help matters


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## AllenF (Aug 20, 2012)

Mmmm after the party popper incident maybe im not best qualified to advise here.
Surfise to say i found out my wifes sense of humour and mine are miles apart. ( although ti was funny.


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## deegan1979 (Mar 6, 2012)

AllenF said:


> Mmmm after the party popper incident maybe im not best qualified to advise here.
> Surfise to say i found out my wifes sense of humour and mine are miles apart. ( although ti was funny.


Do tell?


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## 636 (Oct 23, 2012)

This whole thread seriously puts me off getting married and having kids


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## deegan1979 (Mar 6, 2012)

636 said:


> This whole thread seriously puts me off getting married and having kids


Lol I wouldnt be without them for anything


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## ScottHannah (Dec 28, 2012)

I hope you lads delete your internet history, not wanting your misses to find you posting in this thread! Lol

My girlfriend thinks I'm quite sad how often I clean my car but I think that's due to the fact she always asks me to do hers and I say no lol.


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## Rabidracoon28 (May 31, 2012)

deegan1979 said:


> Lol I wouldnt be without them for anything


Neither would I. For all her moaning lol I wouldn't swap her or the kids for all the detailing gear in the world. She knows how much I enjoy "cleaning" both cars for hours at a time and even said to me today after a just couple of hours of cleaning the alloys on mine and topping up the BSD, "you weren't long, I've not watched all my stuff on the Sky planner yet".

She says she enjoys driving a shiny car and whilst I was waiting for her outside Marks and Spencers food hall today in my car, said the fella walking in front of her said to his partner "look how f**king shiny that car is".


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## JwilliamsM (Dec 20, 2011)

surely if you and your mrs have a falling out over detailing, wont iron x or korrosol remove fall out? :lol::lol::lol::lol:


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## Naddy37 (Oct 27, 2005)

636 said:


> This whole thread seriously puts me off getting married and having kids


I know, joys of being single, no nagging, clean the car when you want.....



ScottHannah said:


> I hope you lads delete your internet history, not wanting your misses to find you posting in this thread! Lol
> .


Yeah, like they delete their internet history to hide all their online shopping antics.....


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## Leebo310 (Sep 30, 2013)

636 said:


> This whole thread seriously puts me off getting married and having kids


Really???


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## deegan1979 (Mar 6, 2012)

Well im happy with a clean car and a happy mrs child and bean. 
Thanks for everyones posts some helpfull and many downright funny.
ive been hammered in the past for sharing my family issues here on the forum but its nice that when a fellow member is down u guys all come together and post good answers and take the p#ss a little too.
Swimming this morning with daughter and the rough ass mums then a day of whatever she wants to do.
and I need petrol so the forecourt will be busy as I want to wax my alloys lol


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## AndyA4TDI (May 7, 2012)

Being happily married and having kids is far more rewarding than detailing cars. You can't even compare the two. Think you may need to put things into prospective 636


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## Kerr (Mar 27, 2012)

AndyA4TDI said:


> Being happily married and having kids is far more rewarding than detailing cars. You can't even compare the two. Think you may need to put things into prospective


It most certainly is as she cleans the house and it's more of a chore than the cars.:lol:


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## deegan1979 (Mar 6, 2012)

AndyA4TDI said:


> Being happily married and having kids is far more rewarding than detailing cars. You can't even compare the two. Think you may need to put things into prospective 636


Certainly agree with andy, having a family is the best thing in the world. 
Found myself flicking through here at half 7 when I woke up then it dawned on me that they were both asleep...
like a scene from mission impossible I was up, dressed made tea, got my mint rims from my wardrobe and I was out waxing my rims.
20 minuted later I had nice smelling wheels and was back in bed in time for my daughter to wake up, full of smiles and cuddles.
now putting things into perspective, my earlier postings here, I was grumpy and put out.
now taking advice from responses im happy and planning ahead


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