# wifes done it again



## zippo (Mar 26, 2008)

Around about May this year we had to order a new car to replace the Astra she was driving due to it being written off. 
Walked in to the lounge today and she's sat there in tears.. In-between the sniffs and blubbering She explained she's managed to dismantle the offside of my 4 month old Insignia Elite . She hasn't done a proper job like the Astra but its a good effort I'd say B plus
Two doors, front wing, origami shaped sill outstanding . I hate seeing her cry it really rips me up . After going having a look at it I came back in gave her a cuddle told her "Not to worry about it. That's why we are fully comp .For now any way. 
It would be cheaper to divorce her but she makes up for it in other ways . 
I'm now in the market for a tank of some sort .Ah' bless her_ stocking_ clad feet:argie:
The best bit is going to be telling the insurance people its happened again 
Daz


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## WhiteRoc_170 (Jan 31, 2013)

Sorry to hear about the car.

My advice.
Don't let her drive the car again.
Or get her some more driving experience as she is obviously lacking it.


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## Andyg_TSi (Sep 6, 2013)

Complimentary  jobs for you off the missus daily for at least 3 months solid as compensation, for a start.


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## dholdi (Oct 1, 2008)

If that's her in your avatar then I can understand your forgiveness.


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## zippo (Mar 26, 2008)

WhiteRoc_170 said:


> Sorry to hear about the car.
> 
> My advice.
> Don't let her drive the car again.
> Or get her some more driving experience as she is obviously lacking it.


I wouldn't of thought a low speed impact like she had would cause the amount of damage it has. She's hit one of those barriers to keep the shopping trolleys in one place at Tesco . Instead of driving foreword then turning the wheel to go in the direction she wanted too, she put lock on without driving forward to clear the barrier and just driven in and parallel to it
Daz


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## zippo (Mar 26, 2008)

Andyg_TSi said:


> Complimentary XXXX jobs for you off the missus daily for at least 3 months solid as compensation, for a start.


outstanding _perv :thumb::thumb::thumb: I don't think I should mention it just yet though lol_
Daz


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## salsheikh (Jul 5, 2010)

WhiteRoc_170 said:


> Sorry to hear about the car.
> 
> My advice.
> Don't let her drive the car again.
> Or *get her some more driving experience as she is obviously lacking it*.


buy her some driving lessons as her Xmas pressie :thumb:


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## ardandy (Aug 18, 2006)

salsheikh said:


> buy her some driving lessons as her Xmas pressie :thumb:


Followed by a divorce if that's what she get's on xmas day! :lol:


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## Clancy (Jul 21, 2013)

salsheikh said:


> buy her some driving lessons as her Xmas pressie :thumb:


That would be a hilarious present :lol:

Think she needs limiting to an old banger


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## ffrs1444 (Jun 7, 2008)

For Christmas Give her a advance driving course


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## salsheikh (Jul 5, 2010)

ardandy said:


> Followed by a divorce if that's what she get's on xmas day! :lol:


its a win-win situation


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## alan hanson (May 21, 2008)

id also be asking what she thinks to her driving, jokes aside heaven forbid an accident which resulted in personal injury?

was the car too big? poor views, blind spots etc....


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## Shiny (Apr 23, 2007)

Sorry, what's happened? Something about a car? The only bit i saw was...



zippo said:


> ...her_ stocking_ clad feet:argie:


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## zippo (Mar 26, 2008)

Shiny said:


> Sorry, what's happened? Something about a car? The only bit i saw was...


With every sting there's a little balm mate :thumb:
Daz


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## zippo (Mar 26, 2008)

alan hanson said:


> id also be asking what she thinks to her driving, jokes aside heaven forbid an accident which resulted in personal injury?
> 
> was the car too big? poor views, blind spots etc....


a 12" steel bar that couldn't be seen from the drivers seat....Apparently 
Daz


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## Stu Mac (Aug 18, 2014)

God you've taken it well! Maybe a bus pass would be a decent investment


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## Delboy_Trotter (Jun 7, 2007)

I'd be sending her to specsavers!

All joking aside there must be a reason she's not seeing these things - trouble is try telling a woman she's a bad driver and not losing the wedding tackle in the same move is like dicing with death

But then in the grand scheme, yes its annoying and the car is a wreck, but the wife is safe and no-one got hurt - metal can be replaced.

Suffice to say any requests for grown up playtime shouldn't be denied for a while


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## AllenF (Aug 20, 2012)

Get her a bus pass and shopping trolly


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## AllenF (Aug 20, 2012)

zippo said:


> a 12" steel bar that couldn't be seen from the drivers seat....Apparently
> Daz


Well obviously NOT when you were doing your makeup whilst talking to someone on the phone


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## ibiza55 (Feb 22, 2008)

Definitely buy a car for a grand, I feel you pain, but sorry to hear you bad news matey.


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## Alex_225 (Feb 7, 2008)

Delboy_Trotter said:


> All joking aside there must be a reason she's not seeing these things - trouble is try telling a woman she's a bad driver and not losing the wedding tackle in the same move is like dicing with death


It is a tricky one I would I imagine.

My Mrs is a decent driver but she's not always careful with things like parking. Doesn't hit cars or objects but the other day she drove up and dropped off the kerb. Turned round and said, 'didn't even realise I'd gone up the kerb'
I looked at her and all I could say was, 'that's why you don't drive the AMG'. But it's true, she's not sympathetic to a car like I would be but you couldn't say it to her.

Fair play to the OP for being so calm about it. This is why I'd always make sure my other half has her own car it would end in murder if she pranged my car haha


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## Soul boy 68 (Sep 8, 2013)

My wife doesn't drive, one of life's small mercy's.


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## neilb62 (Jul 30, 2007)

Soul boy 68 said:


> My wife doesn't drive, one of life's small mercy's.
> 
> View attachment 44316


Mine neither, well only from the 'back seat'....


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## zippo (Mar 26, 2008)

my wife just drives me mad from the drivers seat, passenger seat, and the back seat. So she's banged another car big deal .Apparently it is ,She cut her license on Saturday . I hit the roof . So she's made a tiny mistake the crash before hand wasn't her fault .In fact she did well to steer the car away from it . The car was a written off but it could have been a lot worse. Our daughter wouldn't have walked away with just cuts and bruises if the MRS didn't turn away. Told her to think about that come Monday morning while she goes to get a license application form.
Ive always told every one I know I'm a tw*t but they also know I'm a fare one .
I got her to drive me to Tesco (I cant drive until Monday) Which she wasn't pleased about but who cares . I got her to park as closely as her memory recalled. You cant see the post it comes up to about mid wheel height on 18"rims and they are painted matt black 
At least I have a better understanding of the who,what, why. She still cant drive for toffee though 
Daz


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## Darlofan (Nov 24, 2010)

Those little short metal bollard things are a pain. I'm paranoid about them, all supermarkets have similar. Our Morrisons have wooden bollards about 2 foot high at the end of each parking row and around trees etc. Why they can't make them taller so you can see them when sitting in a car is beyond me. They're fine when you pull in but an hour later after shopping if you forget they are there and turn too hard to get out of a space it's crunch time. Which looking at them quite a few have!!


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## Stezz (Apr 29, 2011)

A solution to your promblems maybe


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## Hufty (Apr 27, 2015)

Puts those wrecked microfibres into perspective !

As long as nobody hurt car can be fixed !


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## SteveTDCi (Feb 8, 2006)

Just don't get it fixed then any future dents wouldn't show


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## RisingPower (Sep 21, 2007)

Darlofan said:


> Those little short metal bollard things are a pain. I'm paranoid about them, all supermarkets have similar. Our Morrisons have wooden bollards about 2 foot high at the end of each parking row and around trees etc. Why they can't make them taller so you can see them when sitting in a car is beyond me. They're fine when you pull in but an hour later after shopping if you forget they are there and turn too hard to get out of a space it's crunch time. Which looking at them quite a few have!!


If you can't see them, what do you do about not hitting kerbs? Or toddlers?


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## Darlofan (Nov 24, 2010)

RisingPower said:


> If you can't see them, what do you do about not hitting kerbs? Or toddlers?


Kerbs you generally know are there because there's a footpath there etc. Toddlers should be with an adult, not much you can do about them if they're in a blind spot.


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## scoobyboy1 (Aug 28, 2006)

My wife does everything but actually drive the car, she always messing about in the car with something, and doesn't see anything more then a couple of feet in front of her bonnet, amount of times ive had to tell her to concentrate on driving instead of messing with her phone/handbag/make up/and anything else she can reach from the drivers seat!!

in her 10 years of driving, she has managed to run a cyclist over in my Focus RS scratching the bumper, kerb brand new wheels on my Impreza, hit a bollard in her Clio, Reverse into a tree in her Corsa ad side swipe a wall in her Fiesta.


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## camerashy (Feb 9, 2014)

lol....and is she still getting insured??


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## scoobyboy1 (Aug 28, 2006)

camerashy said:


> lol....and is she still getting insured??


Never made a claim on her accidents, My cars I have to make her pay for the damage, with her car she puts up with dents/scratches, and I have nothing to do with her cars(that includes detailing, she gets the local £5 wash to do it)

Just reminds me, She kerbed the wheels on my Focus RS the first time she drove the car, so I made her powdercoated them from silver to black and get the damage fixed!!


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## Clancy (Jul 21, 2013)

Luckily my other half's not too bad 

My dad got a brand new audi S6 the other year, first week my mum kirbed alloys down one side going down a tight dead end. Then she Turned around and did the other side :lol: he weren't impressed


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## spursfan (Aug 4, 2009)

£99 all sorted, give her some experience: thumb:

http://www.virginexperiencedays.co.uk/tank-driving-thrill

Kev


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## zippo (Mar 26, 2008)

MAN I'm MIFFED .I don't get my car back till mid January . It better be perfect when it comes back .Parliament doesn't take this long 
Daz


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