# A bit "parochial" for the general forum...



## NornIron (May 12, 2007)

At 12:45 on Wednesday 13th June, a major Atlantic monsoon unexpectedly hit the city and area of Greater Belfast. The flood decimated the area causing an estimated £30 million of damage, with the exception of Sandy Row and Ardoyne where approximately £ 375,000 of improvements were made.

Untold damage and distress was caused, with many woken before their Giros arrived. Several priceless collections of mementos from Millisle and the Spanish Costa's were damaged and three areas of historic and scientifically significant litter were disturbed.

A muriel of King Billy was destroyed up tha Shankill, as was one of some oul-doll gurning, on the Falls. Thousands are confused that something other than political madness has shaken Belfast.

One survivor, Tracey-Anne Jordan Johnston, a 17-year-old mother of three told us "I near keeked maself. Our Britney-Fairybell came gurning intil the room this morning. The chyle was in an awful state.

My youngest ones, Chelsea-Jo and Justin-Keanu slept through it all, so they did. I was still shakin' watchin 'Trisha' - you know what I mean like. 

It's awful so it is. All my wooden floors and rugs are wrecked and me ma is ragin', cos she only give me a lend of them. I can't get the houl of the Housin' Executive for til fix them. They've only been fixed for a week after me and him had a row. I've lost me fegs and everything - its terrible so it is. Look at the state of my hair."

Apparently in the west of the city widespread joyriding and looting carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 400 crates of beer into the area to help with the grief-stricken, but they were stoned, bricked and petrol bombed as they left the area.

Rescue workers still searching through the rubble have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books and jewellery from Argos and the 1/2 price jewellers. They claim that the death toll would have been significantly higher had the Bru been open at the time.

HOW YOU CAN HELP:

Clothing is most sought after - Items required include: Sovereign rings, Cladagh ear-rings, Burberry baseball caps, white socks, Tesco two-stripe trainers, white track suits, chunky gold chains.

FOOD PARCELS ARE ALSO URGENTLY REQUIRED.

Required foodstuffs include: beer, frozen burgers, beer, lard, beer, deep fried Mars bars, beer, Tayto cheese n' onion, beer, Chinese takeaways and key-babs.

REMEMBER - EVERY LITTLE HELPS.....

25p will buy a biro pen to fill in a claim form.

£1.95 will buy an All-Day Citybus ticket to enable victims to travel from the Bru to the Post Office to McDonalds to the Wine Store.

£20 will take a family to Ballymena for the day where the children can sniff glue and skin-up.

£15 will buy fish suppers and an E for a family of 4.

PLEASE DONATE GENEROUSLY!!


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## Dougster (Jun 12, 2007)

We're not Brazil we're NornIron!! :thumb:


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## Ronnie (Nov 15, 2006)

very good like so it is mucker hiy mister i'll nok yer fok in


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## RP Stevie (Jan 24, 2007)

lol, very good!


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## angusdope (Nov 5, 2006)

you lookin yer knees done ye barsteward ill nok the cont oot o ye!


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