# Dangerous Drivers' School



## Multipla Mick (Feb 5, 2006)

It's a few days since this was on, but it was in the dark age of no DW, and I was busting to get on here and see if anyone else had seen it, and also to call someone a winker.

My God, how some of these people have driving licences I really do not know. That they are out there mixing it with other traffic is just scary.
There was a woman who was terrified of motorways, particularly changing lanes. Hmmmm, I know a lot of people don't like driving on them, but she was pretty scared of it all. If the telly is to be believed, one lesson with an instructor who took for a trip down the local Motorway and she was cured! Hooray! She was so cured, she raced round to pick up her friend and she was off, driving down the motorway and she was loving it! Given how stressed she seemed before, I was surprised it only took one lesson, but that could be the magic of telly at work. 
Next up was a gangly woman with a really annoying voice, and earns her living as a bra fitter. Now there's a profession I'd like to get into, where do I sign up for training? Anyway, she had some strange ideas, come across this sort before, I married one and the other is my sister. As an example, this woman didn't like fifth gear, as it scared her if I remember correctly  Her biggest problem seemed to be she couldn't shut the hell up, always panicking out loud in her airhead voice and so on. Her vee Dubb soft top had a personal plate too, something like L3bby, and her daughter was called Lebby or something similar. Methinks she got the plate cheap and then named the daughter to match it, as it's cheaper than buying a plate that matches a well known name. Maybe she read Viz Top Tips and thought it was serious...
Anyway, in gets another instructor and she too was cured, but only of her driving issues, not her annoying voice.

Last, and by far the worst, was Essex boy. Jeezuss wept :wall: If anyone else saw this, please tell me you too think he had to be a plant or winning a bet or something. No one can be as bad a driver as him, or as arrogant, or as vain, surely. He went everywhere at about 15 mph which he thought was driving safely, well maybe for him as he must get scared very easily, but even at those low velocities he couldn't control the car and kept wandering over the white line or up the kerb. He wouldn't wear a seat belt because it might crease his T Shirt and then no one would fancy him. He couldn't park in a space two postcodes long and he reckoned stalling half a dozen times a day is perfectly normal. Going by what we saw, he obviously thought his instructor, a blonde, would instantly fancy him and would be impressed by his skill and safe driving. What a Winker. I just can't believe he was for real. If he is, how the hell did he ever pass his test, and how are the Police not pulling him several times a day for a variety of offences, such as not wearing a seat belt, not being in full control of a vehicle, being in possession of an orange face and bringing the male sex into disrepute?

Anyway, bit of an epic post I'm afraid, but it's here if anyone wants to see it http://www.channel5.com/shows/dangerous-drivers-school/episodes/episode-1-373
More blood boiling next week no doubt too...


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## The Cueball (Feb 8, 2007)

Yeah I saw some of it....yeah I was shouting....yeah I got all worked up!!!!

:wall::wall::wall::wall:

:lol:


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## DampDog (Apr 16, 2011)

"Essex Boy" is every driving instructors nightmare..

He basically couldn't drive within the law, problem is "in his head" empty as it was, he was doing nothing wrong. He was arrogant, ignorant, and unresponsive it criticism either positive or negative. That guy couldn't even keep the car going in a straight line. Cracked me up, thought it was perfectly acceptable to stall the car 5-6 times on every journey. How he gained a licence is beyond me. How can you reason with someone that wont wear a seatbelt because it creases his shirt...

The two girls were very easy, two minutes away from their spouses and a little confidence building job done.

Frustrating to watch, I just wanted to chin "essex boy"

Next weeks looks like boy/girl racer week...


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## McClane (Dec 9, 2010)

Yes I saw it Mick, posted up a preview beforehand, as even the advert had annoyed the **** out of me!

Shame we didn't get to have the usual rant thread on here. I was doubly dissappointed to see the worst of the lot was from Loughton (Essex), and not far from where I grew up, and where my Mum was bloody born! In fact, I'd have used that test centre, and they had the bloody cheek to give me 7 minors. ******s! 

Between him, and the Only Way is Essex **** - my lovely countryside county is getting a right bashing at the moment. What with that, a recession, and the most tory government in 30 years, it's like the 80's all over again. 

Yes, he was a massive tool. To be fair though, driving round those parts and where much of the old police interceptors was filmed on a regular basis. There's a lot of idiot pricks driving all around there. And thanks to a fairly high population density, you're surrounded by them.


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## Multipla Mick (Feb 5, 2006)

Glad I wasn't the only one getting hot under the collar and wanting to carry out acts of violence on Essex Boy :lol: Boy does he need a wake up call.


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## Minus8 (Aug 1, 2011)

How people like this get a licence is beyond me... How do you do your test when you're scared of changing lanes? And don't even start me on the other two...!


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## DampDog (Apr 16, 2011)

Minus8 said:


> How people like this get a licence is beyond me... How do you do your test when you're scared of changing lanes? And don't even start me on the other two...!


As it stands at the moment, you're not allowed to drive on a motorway until after you've passed your test. It's very common for novice drivers to be a bit apprehensive and lack confidence.

Mad system, we insist new drivers can reverse around a corner, which is something they'll probably never do again. But won't allow them on a motorway to gain experience that may save their life.


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## Darlofan (Nov 24, 2010)

Wife and I were shouting at the TV as well. As you say the two women were "cured" quite easily but could be TV magic. At least they admitted they had problems. As for Essex boy where do I start? He was the ultimate tool, anyone who gets in a car full of cameras with an instructor then refuses to wear a seat belt, drives with his knees whilst having a drink and uses his mobile whilst driving should be locked up for his own safety and lack of common sense. Which brings me to, are the police looking into his habits, i've seen many a report in the papers since the advent of YouTube of drivers being prosecuted using evidence of their own videos. Surely their was plenty of evidence there to at least get him points and a nice fine.


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## Laurie.J.M (Jun 23, 2011)

God Knows how Essex boy passed his test, you'd fail your test for driving as slow as he does. The really worrying thing is he probably is for real, he's an Only Way is Essex wannabe and seems to think he's a model human being in every way and we should all look up to him and imitate him. 

With the irritating women in the VW convertible, part of the problem was her husband who never stopped criticizing her driving, which is what destroyed her confidence, once he was taken away she quickly improved.

For the women with fear of motorways that's almost rational, your not allowed to drive on motorways until after you've passed your test which really is stupid, driving around quiet local streets is one thing but driving on a busy three lane motorway is quite another, people need to be taught how to drive on them properly, the lack of motorway training is probably the main reason their are so many people who drive so badly on them, I don't mean people going too fast, I mean the people who never change lane and pull out infront of you without looking. Even if it isn't made part of the driving test driving on motorways should definitely be made part of the learning process. The only people who learn how to drive on motorways with an instructor are the people who like me did the pass plus scheme, I only had one two hour session on motorway driving but that was enough to learn about joining and leaving the motorway safely, proper lane discipline, how to change lanes safely, and just get used to driving at higher speeds for long periods. If that women had been given motorway tuition whilst learning to drive she probably wouldn't have had a fear of motorways in the first place.


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## DampDog (Apr 16, 2011)

Bumpty bump bump...

On again this evening, looks like it's boy/girl racer time this week..

I'll dig the throat pastels out for when I've finished shouting at the tele...


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## Multipla Mick (Feb 5, 2006)

DampDog said:


> Bumpty bump bump...
> 
> On again this evening, looks like it's boy/girl racer time this week..
> 
> I'll dig the throat pastels out for when I've finished shouting at the tele...


Thanks for that, I was just thinking it's a pants night for telly tonight when I saw your post, so would've missed it otherwise :thumb: It's not that bad anyway, as it's Coronation Street followed by Dangerous Drivers then Grand Designs, which has featured some crackers recently instead of the usual glass and chrome monstrosities.

As for the throat sweets, I haven't got any, but I'll have to remove and hide my shoes to stop me flinging them at the telly if it's Boy Racers on tonight :wall: :lol:


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## DampDog (Apr 16, 2011)

Multipla Mick said:


> Coronation Street followed by Dangerous Drivers then Grand Designs, which has featured some crackers recently instead of the usual glass and chrome monstrosities.


Lol... I'll come out of the closet, and admit Corrie has been a guilty pleasure of mine for years...


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## Multipla Mick (Feb 5, 2006)

DampDog said:


> Lol... I'll come out of the closet, and admit Corrie has been a guilty pleasure of mine for years...


Good man! :thumb:  It's tough being a Correy fan sometimes :lol:


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## The Cueball (Feb 8, 2007)

What time is it on!?!? should I stop work to watch it...talking about the driving program, not that p!sh Corrie....

:thumb:


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## Kriminal (Jan 11, 2007)

Multipla Mick said:


> Good man! :thumb:  It's tough being a Correy fan sometimes :lol:


^ mini-thread-hijack : who's lost their 'appetite' over Rosie Webster, since she's had THAT hair-chop ?!


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## Nanoman (Jan 17, 2009)

anyone else getting angry?


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## The Cueball (Feb 8, 2007)

sorry, but I don't believe people can drive that bad without having an accident, or being caught....they are fecking loon balls....

got to say though, I think the **** with the focus is punching well above his weight with that girl...mmmmm

:thumb:


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## alan hanson (May 21, 2008)

that girls face is a different colour to the rest of her body, only have to look at her mk4 astra boy racer kitted up then she looks at a 22k audi hmmmm.

she would wind me right up if i met her on the road i dont need to indicate i know where i'm going!


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## The Cueball (Feb 8, 2007)

alan hanson said:


> that girls face is a different colour to the rest of her body, only have to look at her mk4 astra boy racer kitted up then she looks at a 22k audi hmmmm.
> 
> she would wind me right up if i met her on the road i dont need to indicate i know where i'm going!


yeah, single mother student looking at a 22k car...lovely :lol:

she is just a muppet, I hope she knocks down her own kid and not someone else....:wall::wall::wall::wall:

:thumb:


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## McClane (Dec 9, 2010)

"I just want to get off of the windy roads".

Bad luck love, there all like there here. :lol:


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## McClane (Dec 9, 2010)

No one commented on the hair? It's ****.







PS.... why are all the worst ones from here

<<<<

:wall::wall::wall:


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## alan hanson (May 21, 2008)

that woman learning really should have had l plates on the car would have worked in her favour rather than having a pile up behind her


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## The Cueball (Feb 8, 2007)

McClane said:


> No one commented on the hair? It's ****.


is it just me, or has she just also put her dad out of work?!?!?

:thumb:


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## McClane (Dec 9, 2010)

The Cueball said:


> is it just me, or has she just also put her dad out of work?!?!?
> 
> :thumb:


What does he do? I missed the start?

The Essex boy; Wondered if he wass driving round the back of Harlow/Roydon. Hope I don't meet him!!! :devil:


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## The Cueball (Feb 8, 2007)

McClane said:


> What does he do? I missed the start?
> 
> The Essex boy; Wondered if he wass driving round the back of Harlow/Roydon. Hope I don't meet him!!! :devil:


driving instructor, took her out in the car, 'can't fix her' :wall::wall:


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## McClane (Dec 9, 2010)

The dippy old bird... I would not be happy if she was learning to park near me!!!! 


:doublesho:doublesho:doublesho:doublesho


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## McClane (Dec 9, 2010)

The Cueball said:


> driving instructor, took her out in the car, 'can't fix her' :wall::wall:


Not the best attitude considering the context of the show.

P.S. Yeah, the Essex guy with the focus, just seen his Missus. We say "what is it about Goons and fits birds?" Cuey. Just about sums it up.


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## alan hanson (May 21, 2008)

when i saw her dad its the complete opposite of her, personally i would disown her and **** off, 10 cars!! her dad must have bailed her out a few times.


Its easy to drive with the cameras and show you have learnt but when she is in the car on her own, frustrated she will go back


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## Multipla Mick (Feb 5, 2006)

alan hanson said:


> when i saw her dad its the complete opposite of her, personally i would disown her and **** off, 10 cars!! her dad must have bailed her out a few times.
> 
> *Its easy to drive with the cameras and show you have learnt but when she is in the car on her own, frustrated she will go back*


Exactly. I do wonder if these people are given any directing by the programme makers as in "drive as badly as you can for the befores, then a couple of hours with an instructor, and then you're cured and drive like Mother Teresa ok?"
I can't see Astra Girl and Focus Boy with his long neck carrying on driving so carefully and slowly in the future, it'll be far too mundane and boring for them. 
Another thing I can't get my head around, and is probably me being intolerant or something, but Astra Girl said she wanted to slow down before something bad happened. Well ducky, you don't need an instructor and a telly programme to do that do you? :wall: It's almost as if she is somehow trying to shift responsibility for her bad driving away from herself by saying that, "it's not my fault, I need help" kind of thing. No one or anything else is making you drive like that you daft bint :wall: I just didn't get that bit at all.

Think if I was meeting those two, I'd get Astra Girl at one end of a twisty lane, and Focus Boy at the other, without them knowing, then tell them to drive down the lane as they would do normally and then wait for the crash. What could be just around that country lane corner Focus Boy? Yes, a truck, or a kid on a bike, or another you coming the other way, also driving like a berk.
I actually don't know what winds me up more, people like the Focus chap who know what they are doing wrong but do it anyway, or the hopeless hapless ditherers like Essex Boy last week and this Finnish bint coming up next week who looks spectacularly bad. I think the latter wind me up more, yet the loons crash harder and are therefore more dangerous. Hmmmm...

I've got to admit though, I enjoy driving (well normally I do, I've taken my van off the road at the mo... missing driving badly) and I often drive one handed, which would probably make some people frown and tut, but I feel in total control and I am relaxed knowing I'm in control (well, I think I'm in control anyway) if that makes sense. I don't steer with my knees while eating Maccy Ds though :doublesho :wall: But I have plenty of bad habits as well, so I am aware I'm not text book perfect by any means. Don't think I or anyone else could drive as badly as some of these people though if we tried.


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## johnnyguitar (Mar 24, 2010)

The Cueball said:


> yeah, single mother student looking at a 22k car...lovely :lol:
> 
> she is just a muppet, I hope she knocks down her own kid and not someone else....:wall::wall::wall::wall:
> 
> :thumb:


I rather hope she doesn't knock down anybody's kids.

She stands a chance of doing herself an injury with her seatbelt under her armpit though.

That silly tw*t with the Focus is going to do some damage soon enough. Thank God he's in Essex (although you Essex folk have my sympathy sharing your roads with the likes of him).


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## Laurie.J.M (Jun 23, 2011)

Tonight's episode didn't make me as angry as I thought it would although I was pretty shocked althogh not surprised by some of the driving on display. 

As MM said the people who also wind me up the most are the hopeless ditherers but they're mostly pretty harmless compared to the berks like Focus boy, they're the ones you need to worry about most, if the dithery Essex guy from last week had a crash he most likely wouldn't be going fast enough to do any serious damage (apart from doing a little more than creasing his clothes as he goes head first into the windscreen) but if the boy racer from this week had an accident he would stand a pretty good chance of becoming a statistic as would whoever he crashes into.


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## Ninja59 (Feb 17, 2009)

Last nights episode i think the GF of Sam (the boy racer one) is a stupid B*nt for even getting in the car with him! but at least she does try!

as for the girl OMFG...another nutter...


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## DampDog (Apr 16, 2011)

I thought it was all "put-up" twaddle. The notion that you can alter someones behaviour in a single 2 hours session is guff.

"Boy racer" to careful, considerate driver as if by magic.. Wonder how much they're being paid?


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## The Cueball (Feb 8, 2007)

johnnyguitar said:


> I rather hope she doesn't knock down anybody's kids.


Oh, me too...all I was saying is that when/if she has a crash driving like a muppet, I hope she destroys her own life and family, rather than some, innocent people....

I think the show is a put on as well.....I just don't believe people can drive like that day in day out and not have been caught, or had a pretty major crash....

There is also no way on earth they have been "cured" in a few hours..... :lol:

:thumb:


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## Darlofan (Nov 24, 2010)

Focus girl at the start was the best. Skids up to a cross roads then looks at her friend and says"why didn't you tell me that was coming up" WTF


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## Multipla Mick (Feb 5, 2006)

DampDog said:


> I thought it was all "put-up" twaddle. The notion that you can alter someones behaviour in a single 2 hours session is guff.
> 
> "Boy racer" racer to careful, considerate driver as if by magic.. Wonder how much they're being paid?


Yup, I have strong doubts as to the authenticity of the programme, like just how bad some of these people are, and how miraculously easily they are cured. The old buzzard in Warrington had a common complaint with lapsed drivers that have lost their confidence, but whether she was that bad she couldn't get out of her estate I don't know. Her grandson I think it was that she picked up appeared to have some issues with his hair, looked like a cow pat on his head, but that's another story.

I hope they're being paid a lot, I think for my 15 minutes of fame I'd rather be seen doing something worthy or heroic rather than appearing to be a first prize bell end or utterly crap at something millions of people are competent at.


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## DampDog (Apr 16, 2011)

made me laugh, that the woman instructor allowed the girl to wear her seat-belt under her arm for the whole of the two hours. Very professional..

Also as an instructor allowing someone to speed in your vehicle on your insurance makes you guilty of aiding and abetting. So you'd be unisured.


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## Lloyd71 (Aug 21, 2008)

Take them all off the roads and make sure they can never have children. People like these are no good to anyone and are just going to kill someone. They shouldn't be allowed to pass on their genes!


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## Kriminal (Jan 11, 2007)

DampDog said:


> I thought it was all "put-up" twaddle. The notion that you can alter someones behaviour in a single 2 hours session is guff.
> 
> "Boy racer" to careful, considerate driver as if by magic.. Wonder how much they're being paid?


^ same thoughts.

I hope these moron's, showing their faces on telly, get their licences taken away with a thank you letter for admitting to dangerous driving in the post. :thumb:


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## Naddy37 (Oct 27, 2005)

I watched the first 15mins of that programme and had to turn it off.

How people can actually drive like that, and think its okay is just beyond belief.


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## dr-x (Jul 31, 2010)

Anyone recognise the beach on tonights programme, looked like a good place to take the kids.


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## silverback (Jun 18, 2008)

that nob in the fiesta reminded me of a fella in my work who lost his brother in a terrible car accident an he drives like a ****ing lunatic every time he is behind the wheel.some people are nutters plain and simple.

not to tar everyone with the same brush,but did you see his car ? it was a ****ed fiesta with dents all over it.to top it all of he was going on about how "epic" his ****ing exhaust was :lol: are you taking the **** pal haha.


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## EcosseGP (Jul 5, 2011)

I don't know why they glorify these people. What they should do is film them and send the film to the DVLA and have their licence's revoked. That would make them change their ways having to re-sit their tests again. 
That bloke in the Fiesta was just a total idiot .. The car was a wreck and to drive like he did with his kids in the car showed how little he cared about anything.


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## Multipla Mick (Feb 5, 2006)

silverback said:


> that nob in the fiesta reminded me of a fella in my work who lost his brother in a terrible car accident an he drives like a ****ing lunatic every time he is behind the wheel.some people are nutters plain and simple.
> 
> not to tar everyone with the same brush,but did you see his car ? it was a ****ed fiesta with dents all over it.to top it all of he was going on about how "epic" his ****ing exhaust was :lol: are you taking the **** pal haha.


The first thing that came into my head when I saw him was how do you spell nob? Is it just 'nob' or is it 'knob' with a k? So thanks for sorting that out :lol: But also the point is, he saw himself as a good driver, we all saw a nob. He saw his car as epic, we saw it as a battered hatchback that was nothing special really. These people see things differently, like some of the 'creations' on Barry Boys, all filler and self tappers, crazed and cracked ill fitting plastic, but the owner probably stood back and thought 'wow that's a b1tchin' pussy magnet' or something like that. Everyone else stands back and thinks 'heap of crap mate'. Still the Fiesta was matey's pride and joy, but he was definitely a nob, and a dangerous one at that. Can't wait for him to sell the Fiesta, bet the Ebay ad would be entertaining, probably starting with 'one careful owner'.

Most frustrating for me though was the Finnish lass. The lapsed driver in London, the older one who kept howling and screaming and laughing, she should've just gone out with an instructor before going out with her friend, and she will probably be ok. ish. But the Finnish girl bothered me as being, well, the typical dippy dithering type of woman driver that gets women drivers a bad name. All daft ideas (why are you fretting about driving on the left? Are you in Finland? Can you see Deer roaming between the snow laden pines and the ice covered lakes? No, you can see drizzle, pound shops and people saying 'isn't it' in the wrong place, So how do you get the two confused? In Finland you drive on the right, In Wales you drive on the left, isn't it :wall I do try to see things from other people's perspective, but when it comes to things like that, I fail miserably I'm afraid. I hated the way she was steering the car to begin with as well, fighting with the wheel at times, and jerking it about past parked cars and so on, no feel for it, nothing was flowing. Yet the one told to look further up the road was the older woman in London, first thing I thought when the fitty Finn veered around the parked car was she wasn't looking further than the end of her bonnet. Maybe with lessons and help from hubby she will improve, but my first wife was from the same mould, as is my sister, both would make you think they only passed their test a couple of weeks ago rather than thirty odd years in sister's case.

Edit - Why are my posts getting longer?


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## nick_mcuk (Jan 4, 2008)

I had to turn over the other night that prick from essex was winding me up.

One question they have video footage and evidence of him driving on the phone, not being in full controll of the car (steering with his knees and eating) so why on gods great earth are the* POLICE NICKING HIS SORRY ****Y ASS AND REMOVING HIS LICENSE FOREVER???*


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## Multipla Mick (Feb 5, 2006)

nick_mcuk said:


> I had to turn over the other night that prick from essex was winding me up.
> 
> One question they have video footage and evidence of him driving on the phone, not being in full controll of the car (steering with his knees and eating) so why on gods great earth are the* POLICE NICKING HIS SORRY ****Y ASS AND REMOVING HIS LICENSE FOREVER???*


This is what I would like to know, as a good dose of old bill road side sarcasm and a few points on his licence might get the message through to him that he is an utter dick. Maybe they would claim it was for the telly and conducted in a controlled environment or something, maybe they will have some sort of get out, but I can't really see what as the roads weren't closed or anything for filming purposes. If he and the others behaving like nobs did get all get done, I hope the fines vastly outweigh the TV fees, so their 15 minutes of fame turns out to have been rather costly all round.


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## nick_mcuk (Jan 4, 2008)

Exactly I almost want to drive to Essex find the little ****....have him tailgate me and then find out what happens when he picks on the wrong guy!

Stupid little prick!


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## PG Monkey (Apr 19, 2010)

I couldn't watch the programme, it's the first time I've had to switch a programme off because it was annoying me. 

Wonder whether the police couldn't do anything because a NIP has to be served on the registered keeper within 14 days of the alleged offence and a prosecution generally has to be made (i.e. papers served with magistrates) within 6 months of the date of the alleged offence. Any solicitors or coppers about who could confirm this could be the reason? 

You sometimes see Clarkson on Top Gear taking both hands off the wheel every now and then..


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## nick_mcuk (Jan 4, 2008)

PG Monkey said:


> I couldn't watch the programme, it's the first time I've had to switch a programme off because it was annoying me.
> 
> Wonder whether the police couldn't do anything because a NIP has to be served on the registered keeper within 14 days of the alleged offence and a prosecution generally has to be made (i.e. papers served with magistrates) within 6 months of the date of the alleged offence. Any solicitors or coppers about who could confirm this could be the reason?
> 
> You sometimes see Clarkson on Top Gear taking both hands off the wheel every now and then..


Yeah me too I was instructed to turn it over by the soon to be Mrs MCUK.

I was raging watching it.

I dont think the 14 day rule comes in here as that guy that videoed himself doing silly speed on his superbike got nicked....


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